Innuendo
by spac3 m0nk3y
Summary: Demyx hears some unlikely things coming from the bathroom one morning, and Zexion fears the worst. Rated M for sexual implications. Note: this isn't a lemon. You only think it is. AkuRoku


**Disclaimer:** Me no own. You no sue.

**A/N**: Well, I wanted to give writing sexual innuendo a shot. It's very short, not the best thing I've written, but I think it's cute so why not. Please review. Seriously, like ten seconds of your time means the world to me. I eat reviews for breakfast. Thanks, enjoy ^^

**Innuendo**

Demyx skipped down the hallway of the castle that didn't exist. That is, the castle that never was. He was happy this morning, it was a Sunday and that was his most favorite day of the week because Xaldin was making pot roast for dinner, and Demyx loved pot roast. Of course, he also loved Tuesday, which was Rock Band night, and Friday because he got to play poker with Luxord while using Hershey Kisses as the poker chips, but those dates were irrelevant because this day was _Sunday_.

Naturally, he was up before everyone else in the castle. He always woke up before the other members of Organization XIII because it took him at least three hours to do his hair in the mornings. If he woke up at six, he reasoned, and it took him three hours to do his hair... then he'd just be finishing up in time to eat brunch with the others around eleven o'clock.

Everyone else was sound asleep in their, or someone else's, beds. Or so the bubbly musician thought, as he headed towards the second floor bathroom to preform excessive, damaging tasks on his hair, in order to make it look as if he had just woke up.

He paused at the door, hearing voiced from inside.

"Are you really sure you want me to do this?" he heard Roxas ask, voice skeptical.

"Yea. Trust me, doing this on my own is no where near as fun."

Roxas made some noise that sounded like a half scoff, half groan.

Demyx felt his eyebrows shoot up in surprise. Roxas and Axel... in a bathroom... at six in the morning... what could they be doing?

Being a naturally curious person, but also having a false sense of moral grounding, Demyx was conflicted. He wanted to listen in... but would the two on the other side approve?

He leaned against the door to hear more.

"Ok, so you've got to make it really stiff at first, it'll soften up in a bit."

"I know that, dumb ass, this isn't the first time I've done this. I do it to myself all the time."

Demyx was lost. Done what?

"Yea, but yours isn't as long."

"Shut up and bend over, you're too tall."

Demyx leaned away from the door, out of fear of being heard. Whatever the two of them were doing in there sounded private, and not for prying ears. Still, he couldn't resist eavesdropping.

Besides, listening in on them was justified, right? They were in his bathroom, using up_ his_ Demyx happy time.

"Demyx what the hell are you doing?"

The musician turned to see a vertically challenged man with purple hair and polka dot pajamas glaring at him. Realizing he was in a slightly awkward position, crouched down in front of the bathroom with his ear up to the door, Demyx straightened up and gave Zexion a lopsided grin.

"Oh, hey Zexy, what's up?" He asked nonchalantly as he could.

The man growled, obviously put off by the nickname. "I'm trying to fucking sleep and I hear voices from down the hall, and I want to know who the fuck is up at six fucking o'clock in the fucking morning."

The musician grinned. "Wow, Zexy, you just used the word 'fuck' as a verb, adjective, and prepo-whatcha-call-it-thingy. All in the same sentence! Good job!" He gave Zexion two thumbs up.

Zexion opened his mouth, as if to speak, most likely an insult, when he was interrupted by and "OUCH! Ow, ow, ow, ow!"

"What the fuck was that?" He hissed. Observing his behavior, Demyx noted that he was almost snakelike, what with the slanted eyes and hissing.

Demyx looked sheepish. "That's probably Axel. He asked Roxy to do something for him because his was longer and it was no fun to do by himself."

Zexion gaped.

More voices came from behind the door. "Well you told me to do this! Ugh," Roxas groaned "it's to damn stiff."

"Pull it out!" Axel wailed.

Zexion really gaped.

"You alright?"

Zexion paused. He chose his next words very carefully. "Demyx... do you know what Axel and Roxas are doing in there?"

"Wrestling?" He guessed, hoping he'd be right.

The purple haired man looked away. "Demyx. Axel and Roxas are having sex."

Well, that took no time getting to the point.

"Oh."

The musician stared at Zexion. "Oh." He said again. "Well, that explains some things."

"Yea..."

Suddenly, admits all the awkwardness and more cries of 'that really fucking hurts!' and exasperated groans from Roxas, Demyx grinned. "You owe me ten bucks"

Zexion glared "And why is that?"

"Roxas is topping."

And with that, Demyx skipped off, his curiosity satisfied, leaving a very confused and cranky Zexion standing outside the bathroom.

_Meanwhile, inside the bathroom..._

"Pull it out!" Axel all but screamed. "That's painful."

"For the love of Mansex, Ax, you're such a pussy."

Axel whimpered "But it hurts."

"You should be used to it."

The redhead just wailed again.

Roxas sighed. "I can't pull it out now. It's all sticky."

Axel looked mortified. "So... you mean it's going to be in there forever?"

Roxas took a step back and looked at his friend. "Yes" he said very seriously "that comb is going to be stuck in your hair forever. I tried to tell you to do your hair yourself, or hell, leave it down for once. This isn't a damn beauty salon."

Axel sobbed. "I can't believe I'm going to have to walk around like one of those ghetto douchebags forever!" More sobbing.

"I was kidding dude, it'll come out when you rinse the gel out. You said yourself that the gel gets really stiff then softens up."


End file.
